there is a version of this blog software that you pay for where you can get comments from readers... i wonder if i have any readers, other than a friend or two... i think it would be neat to get comments from people... but mostly people don't use the comment feature, from what i see on other people's blogs. but sometimes when i'm talking in here, i really feeeeel like i'm talking to someone... and then sometimes i want them to talk back :)
true they can use email or the guestbook to talk to me, but maybe they would be more inclined if there was a comment feature in here... i don't know... would add to my costs, which i'm trying to keep to a minimum here. woah, my dog is at my feet and just let go a waft of super stinky effluvium. commments anyone? hehe, sorry, did i gross ya out? try being me. my dog is old. she's still cute as a button tho. wouldn't it be good if WE were furry? then we wouldn't have to worry about wrinkles? just groom our hair nicely and dye it ifin' it goes gray. would be ALOT of hair dye every month, but still, what price beauty? hmmm, perhaps it's GOOD i don't have comment capabilities on my blog. i would get things like "you're whacky", and "you want to be a little puppy dog? that doesn't look good on a resume"... i remember this one day we saw a 'wolf man' walking down the street. you know, one of those people who have hair growing all over their faces, hair just like on their head. my brother said that the circus was in town. it was kind of strange looking, the hair was black. and you can't think that someone is just walking backwards coz of all the clothes being forwards. i wish i could have gotten a closer look at him tho, we were driving by in our car. i said 'LOOKIT LOOKIT LOOKIT!' and pointed and stuff. i'm so cool. good thing the wolf man couldn't hear me. like he's never been thru THAT before. He's in a circus for heaven's sake. i remember seeing a tv show on a whole family like that... some of them shaved tho... i would be thinkin' electrolysis. anyway, enuff about being like dogs. woof woof.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:57 PM - [Link]

I'm feeling kind of weird today. And it's nothing that i want to write about in here. who wants me to blabber about depressing stuff? not you. but that sort of leaves me with nothing to talk about coz my mind is only filled with the aforementioned depressing stuff. i spent the evening chatting and wasting time in general, but mostly the day was spent writing a long email to my mentor about *where i am at spiritually*... so i was really soul searching and praying and such today. and i read the bible, something i don't do as much as i should. and of course the bible STILL has a way of kind of scaring me out of my complacency. so i was soul searching and getting jolted into some major realizations. oh my, i have to go to bed, it's too late to be blogging... i have nothing to say anyway. me go blinky noogums.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:00 AM - [Link]

well the big Christmas family visit is over. hubby's sister is gone home. i must confess i got a little misty eyed when she left. it's sad that Christmas is over. that the excitement is over. that the family happiness is over. She was wondering why i was crying, perhaps thinking that i am over-emotional. but i think that i am just so conscious of the passing of time and significant events. remember that old black and white movie, well not old, maybe mid-eighties. it was called rumblefish. it didn't HAVE TO be done in black and white. i think it was francis ford copolla was trying to be arty. there was this scene in that movie with tom waits talking about the passage of time and the length of a human life and he says 'think about it, only 32 more Christmases' or something like that... 'think about it, only 72 Christmases'... i just get misty eyed when one of them passes, and it was a good one to boot... i turned 40 this year, maybe i'm just feeling my mortality a little more. Life is a vapor. i want to hang on to Jesus real tight. Jesus won't let us go. He gives us eternal life.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:00 AM - [Link]

Happy Jesus' birthday! we went to midnight mass last night, or the equivilant thereof; my church's 11:00 candle light service. it was very nice, i cried, and didn't bring tissue, good thing hubby had some starbucks nappies on him.
bro and his wife and baby are coming over for Christmas dinner tonight. hubby is cooking up a storm. i bought him a bread maker so we put the bread on to cook. takes 4 hours to make a loaf of bread in one of those things! we had to hurry.
he and his sister are in the kitchen discussing all the finer points of dinner. i'm clueless. i could never do anything like make a Christmas dinner. my husband starts days ahead of time; making the tortierre, and the cabbage rolls. he doesn't make the perogies by hand the way his mom did tho. the turkey is missing a wing, my husband is chumped about that. less than perfect. he's got bro and his wife bringing over a ham. i have a feeling we will all be eating too much. Just a hunch. a sneaking suspicion.
i got a new printer for Christmas, i sure was getting frustrated with that old clunker i was trying to print on. i also got a paper shredder, who says romance is dead? didn't get the karaoke machine :( no singing bad pasty cline tunes for the crowd after dinner. i also got a beautiful crushed velvet Christmas outfit to wear for dinner. hubby says i have expensive taste. (i picked it out and sent him to get it, he can't shop for clothes for me on his own, who can tell what i would like?) well i'm sure he would have known that i would have like THIS particular outfit, but he would have denied it to himself to avoid spending that much money :)
he bought me an optical mouse. i have a laptop, so now i have to get used to going waaaay over there to get to the mouse. and as soon as i plugged it in it disabled the onboard mouse, so i have no choice. no need for a mouse pad, so that's cool, those things take up so much room. so i've just got this mouse sitting on some scattered papers on my desk. it's not in the way at all. new toys for Christmas.
i got a book on java scripting and a book on general web design. should be fun. want to change my website. i think i will go look at my new books.

Posted by bonehaven at 4:23 PM - [Link]

went out to the mall today looking for a last minute Christmas gift for hubby's sister. it's mass madness out there i tell you. i drive a standard and my clutch leg is so sore, from sitting in slow moving traffic. i almost bought her a mirror ball, you know one of those tacky disco era things. it wasn't a full size one, but still kind of bulky for lugging back on the plane so i thought better of it. i bought her a bottle of goldschlagger instead. when in doubt throw booze at the problem. just joking kiddees, don't try that at home. i also bought a bottle of spiced rum for hot rum toddeys and rum and eggnog... i think stuff like that is ok as long as you don't get drunk or anything, right? Jesus drank, He just didn't get drunk. strange that Jesus' first miracle was supplying more wine for a bunch of drunk people at a wedding. i wonder what He was thinking. What does God REALLY think of such things? We know He forgives us, but does He really hate a big drunk party? We know He would hate it when it turned ugly, and i guess booze OFTEN turns ugly. but it often doesn't too. there is such a thing as moderation. there is such a thing as a happy drunk. i wonder if God laughed at the movie 'Arthur'... i mean i must be sort of right or Jesus wouldn't have drank wine. it must be ok to drink in moderation or God wouldn't have done it. hmmmm... i haven't drank since LAST new year's... no wait, i had a beer at a wedding this fall. but i'm sitting here having a yummy hot rum toddy, and i must say i don't see a thing wrong with that... i wonder if there's something wrong with me... BAD Christian.. BAD

Posted by bonehaven at 7:58 PM - [Link]

a friend of mine came and took me to her church today. i was glad to go because her church is my mentor's church and i have been meaning to go but have been too intimidated by maps and highway drives. the church was enormous and jam packed with happy Christians. but it's too far for me to travel on a regular basis, so there will be no switching churches for me. i'm too nervous of driving to make that long of a drive every sunday. anyway, i get antsy in church after a sermon gets too long, and they ALWAYS get too long, for my tastes anyway. i sat in my pew and about 6/8's of the way thru the sermon i wrote on the back of a comment card to my friend that i wanted to go right about now. she laughed at me, thinking i needed more entertainment. about 7/8's of the way thru the sermon i could hear the rest of the congregation getting restless too, there was rustlings and whisperings. then the pastor wrapped things up, i wondered if he could tell that the audience had had enuff. i wondered if we all lose our spirituality after about an hour of listening to a preacher preach. good thing we don't get pushed too far. remember that story in the bible where the apostle paul is preaching and the guy just can't take it anymore, he falls out of the window to his death? now THAT was preaching. altho, some mornings at church there are people that should just be thanking God they are not sitting in a high window sill. i got up a tad early myself this morning, had trouble keeping my eyes open in a few spots. i have long hair, so i lean forward and hide behind it, shut my eyes. BAD church goer, BAD. well, at least i showed, that's a good thing...

Posted by bonehaven at 8:29 PM - [Link]

well they just dropped off luggage now they have gone out for coffee... well that girl is so sweet and friendly i don't know what i was so afraid of... the unknown i guess. she came in with a big nice smile and a hug. it was very good. she complimented us on the place, obviously a girl of fine taste :) i liked her immediately. i think the visit will go well. my husband was very happy to see her, so if he's happy i'm happy, giggle. i think it will be nice to have family for Christmas. i feel better. i wish i looked better. i have a big zit that has developed right by my nose for the occaision. i think it was the worry. little face pygmies parked their red volkswagen beetle by my nose. i just know they are staying for the holidays. hey back off, that line is copywritten for my next novel, hehe... yeah right, just the very act of thinking of it means that i have put it out there in the collective unconscious and some guy in britain just thought of the same thing out of the blue. i've been bit in the butt by the collective unconscious enuff times to know that already. i wonder if carl jung, i think it was carl jung.. i wonder if carl jung hadn't THOUGHT of the collective unconscious ifin' it wouldn't be there :) blame carl jung for the fact that when you have an idea you have to move at the speed of light or someone else will think of the same thing and move on it before you do. the collective unconscious sucks, you would think WE ARE BORG or something... i mean it's good when you GET an idea, but not good when you LOSE an idea to someone else. course then there's the question of who got the idea first.
take for instance, my domain name... that idea came to me years ago, with an idea for a painting (bonehaven)... and i was going to use it for the name for my second novel which i never wrote on accounta i can't write anymore, nasty case of writer's block. so i know that i thought of that name all on my own, and then i decided to use it for a domain name, and when i did a google search on it, it came up and somebody had called a one issue comic in britain 'bonehaven'... so there you go, the collective unconscious at work again. the idea is floating around up there and there's nothing you can do, somebody is GOING to grab onto it. but it's MINE i say, MIIIINNNEEE!! hehe
there is a major section of my first novel that has to be rewritten coz about a year after it was written, night club comics and stuff started using the joke in it... what can you do? it was my idea first, but once the idea is up there, in the collective unconscious, it's up for grabs... but i'm sure i will never publish that first novel anyway... anyway, i should make a perimeter check of the place, check for mess and stuff that needs to be taken care of, last minute stuff before visitor is installed for good...

Posted by bonehaven at 12:43 PM - [Link]

well i'm sitting here in the last peaceful moments before my husband comes back with his sister from the airport. best get all the nosepicking and such out of the way coz i won't have a chance for another week. We live in an open plan here :) basically there are two rooms now that we tore out all the walls... there used to be three bedrooms. We tore out the front one and made the living room bigger, and we also tore out the kitchen wall and made and island seperating living room and kitchen. and we tore out the wall seperating the two back bedrooms so that it's one huge bedroom. so, yeah, basically we have two rooms now. so there will be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide ifin' you know what i mean. We put up those floor to ceiling ikea curtains across the bedroom and there's a futon in there, so she will be sleeping in there with us... so no pillow talk even! oops they are here, gotta go, bye

Posted by bonehaven at 11:41 AM - [Link]

i bought some new sheets, well a fitted sheet, and a bed skirt. Martha Stewart line. The bed skirt is white and the sheet is a pin stripe to match the stripes in our bedroom, ie. a light brown and white... i put the bed skirt on all by my little old self. i huffed and i puffed and held the mattress up by my back and thighs while i dragged the bed skirt thru. it was no small feat. then it was time for the sheet, i pulled it across the end no problem. then when i went to pull it up to the top, lo and behold it didn't reach, i pulled harder, it popped off the other end. i put it on this end and went and pulled on the bottom end, it didn't reach. i pulled harder, it popped off the top end. i was aghast. why oh why didn't i look at the measurements before i ripped open the package? well, i THOUGHT all mattresses were a standard size. This was all Martha's fault. Didn't she bother measuring mattresses before she packaged these things up? didn't she care about the little people who were going to have to go back and stand in line at customer service at Christmas time to return a sheet that you can't get back in a shrink wrapped package? is she too rich? i was thinking it's time martha is taken down a peg or two. i sat on the carpet and felt like cursing martha stewart. i reached up and pulled on the corner of the sheet in frustration and it gave... IT GAVE lol... and i realized that i had the long side on the short side :) so i turned the sheet around and it fit fine, and i was glad my husband was not here to laugh at me...

Posted by bonehaven at 1:22 PM - [Link]

well we are going to have a full house for the Christmas season. my husband's sister is coming to visit. I'm scared; visions of in-law cliches dancing in my head. I'm sure they all hate me. I want her to like me. i want to have a happy Christmas, and maybe even get to know a bit of his family. they all live so far away. She will be here tomorrow, or is it the next day, think it's the next day, i may be time crunching coz i'm nervous. i know my husband is nervous about my Christianity. His nephew was maybe gonna come visit in the summer and my husband said 'please try not to come off like Carrie's mother'... you remember that old horror movie, 'Carrie' with Sissy Spacek, where she has telekenesis and her mother is all religious and evil... i want my husband to be proud of me too. but like i said in my main page Christians can get a bad rap. so i can understand his worries about what people might think. so did i mention that i'm nervous? my husband says that his family thinks nobody is good enuff for him... i think that is a little odd, i mean what does that MEAN? i would always consider am I good enuff for somebody else? that would be the most important question. not to size up OTHER people in life, not one's job i wouldn't think. seems all backwards to me, i just don't get it. plus that seems to be cultivating pride, and that's not biblical is it? to think you are somehow better than other people because of... i'm not sure what... being from a little town i guess, he's from a small town, there's that... and to think that other people aren't good enuff for you because they aren't from.. that town lol or whatever it is... obviously i don't understand the whole thing. in his family's eyes he's supposedly better than everybody else for SOME inadequately explored reason. me, as a Christian, i would hesitate to say that about him or anyone else. silly concept i think, but i think i will stop ranting about it now...

Posted by bonehaven at 3:15 PM - [Link]

felt sorry for hubby, went to ikea BOUGHT bookcases, even the assembly proved to be too much for him this evening... there's nothing more i can do :) i got him to do the stuff that involved a power screwdriver, now i will finish it tomorrow while he's at work. they are nice little shelves. they would have fit perfectly in the space i needed them to fit if ikea hadn't been a liar liar pants on fire about the measurments. well i suppose they didn't lie, but the truth they told did no good... it's true the shelf was 16 inches, but the 2X2 supports at the corners kinda throw off the measurements don't they... i mean, silly me thought when they said the shelves measured 16 inches that they meant that the shelving unit width was 16 inches... but nooooo, they only meant the boards inside not the width of the whole shelving unit... ya call that WIDTH?? is it just me? when i ask for width i want width!!

Posted by bonehaven at 12:44 AM - [Link]

aaah well, the birthday bliss is abated... 'tis just another day in paradise. i gave hubby a power tool *girly tim allen noise, arr arr*... a jig saw, so now he has no excuse not to finish the book case. he's going in there to work on it today. we are working on the bedroom of late... we painted stripes on the walls, it looks like the copa cobana in there. it turned out pretty good. the stripes are an eggshell white and a sort of cafe au lait color. we did it to match the duvet cover, even tho it doesn't match very well at all.. bad home depot lighting i would say. or maybe it's just coz your eyes go all boogley woogley after looking at all those little paint cards next to your pillow case, after a while you can't see. i think that's it. no wait, i know... blame the paint mixer!! they messed up my color!! wish i had saved the little card so i could prove that, but when in doubt, blame someone else :) hehe
i feel better now.

Posted by bonehaven at 2:33 PM - [Link]

question of the day: What IS living the Christian life? answer: i don't know, but dear sweet tender Jesus i am putty in your hands, guide and gaurd me into this life. i count on Jesus, and sometimes i can feeel Him making me all clean inside. and i relax into Him. knowing that He is caring for me, right now... i don't know what He's doing, but i know it's goooood.

Posted by bonehaven at 8:04 AM - [Link]

i can see that my blog personae is emerging lol... i'm sacrificing a degree of niceness for a turn of phrase or to be able to tell a story... aaaaaah!!! what monster have i created here? the blog monster!! i'm reminding me of an episode of 'everybody loves raymond' where he got called on making good clean fun of his family at work, by his wife, it was ugly lol... well i'm sure my family will never read my blog, but never the less... note to self: STOP LAUGHING AT THEM, good natured as it may be :) oh my... NOW what will i have to talk about?

Posted by bonehaven at 7:06 AM - [Link]

it's my wonderful husbands birthday today... and i had to go to the dentist :( so i'm all drugged up, sitting around like i've just been let out of a can of tomatoes in that nighteen sixties movie 'the blob', and he's on the couch watching bad tv and dozing off from the sugar shock i inflicted upon him with the birthday cake i bought at the save on foods down the road... i only took 3 ativan, perfectly safe to drive...
tonight we are going out for dinner with my brother and his wife and baby hannah, that is if my husband gives the ok, he may not, on accounta 'it's his birthday and he can do what he wants', even tho the rest of us are bending over backwards to give him a birthday dinner amid busy schedules... it's true he can tell them 'no thanks, think i'll stay home, and cause all sorts of bad feelings'... perfectly within his rights... pffft! of course on the other side of the family, they may forget or fall asleep and leave us waiting for them till late for a birthday dinner while ruining all other chances of going out for a birthday dinner on our own, and it's ME stuck in the middle, trying to stick up for everybody to everybody else.

Posted by bonehaven at 3:26 AM - [Link]