today i have nothing to say in here, i'm wondering if this blog isn't too much responsibility for me... i may not keep it up... i think there are only 3 people who read it anyway... buds of mine. i think that's what my counter goes up by every day lol. i think they only read it to be nice to me, so it would be ok if i stopped writing. well, i just mean that there is no need to pressure myself. and i'm beginning to feel a little bit of bloggy pressure. and who needs that?

Posted by bonehaven at 12:48 AM - [Link]

i'm terribly sorry for ignoring my blogging duties for the last couple days. yesterday we spent the day dedicated to karaoke, we practiced in the afternoon and went out in the evening, we sang very silly songs all day... i sang ozzy osbourne's crazy train in an effort to capitalize on shock value. it didn't work. i used to sing guns and roses sweet child of mine at karaoke until one time i made the fatal error of getting a recording of it. never again. each karaoke song has it's own personality. that's why you have to sing it to know if it will sound good, because you just never know until you try. coz it takes on a life of it's own. and then sometimes you think it sounds ok and it totally doesn't, and you don't know unless somebody tells you OR you get a recording... like i sang 'fancy' yesterday and my husband told me i sucked at it, but i thought i was doing not bad considering i can't sing anymore and it's such a hard song. but i must have sounded pretty darned bad for my husband to go out of his way to say i sounded bad. so you just never know. but i did the song anyway, just coz you gotta, after somebody says you suck, you gotta do it at least once. it's the principle of the thing. right now i'm just getting used to not being able to sing anymore, my voice changed when i quit smoking, and i'm all off-key all over the place. it's kind of embarassing, but what can one do? i'm thinking, that's kind of supposed to be what karaoke is all about. i mean that's why alot of people don't like karaoke... so... that's it, now I'M the reason karaoke has a bad name :) well where we go sing i bet i'm the person with the worst voice, everybody takes it all so seriously. it's all regulars that sing well. my husband was all chumped last night coz there was this guy in the washroom that said karaoke was fun in 'this silly kinda way' and then he came out and did these two really awesome crooner songs and sung like aaron neville, totally great voice, i mean you could tell the guy was taking it really seriously lol... my husband kept repeating the word 'silly' and going 'pffft'... but we had a fun day... and i picked out a few other songs as possiblilities for next time, they have volcanoe girls by veruca salt, i don't know if that one is do-able or not, i think i will go download it...

Posted by bonehaven at 12:32 AM - [Link]

in the book i'm reading it says that God walks a fine line with us, that He reveals Himself enuff so that we can find Him when we need Him, and He hides Himself enuff so that we can ignore Him if we want to. i think God has been hiding Himself on me coz i'm so spiritually stupid. He wants to give me the opportunity to ignore Him. But i don't want it i tell you!! i think that's why God had to save me so dramatically, coz i'm so spiritually stupid... He basically had to yell at me. but i have been stupid enuff to walk away from Christianity before. but the last time i was Christian i had no experience with God, this time i do. but why does God give us the opportunity to ignore Him? who would WANT to ignore the most beautiful being in the universe? it could only be a lie of the devil or a horrible mistake that would make one want to ignore God. but God has to give us that freedom of choice even tho nobody in their right mind would EVER make that choice. i guess i shouldn't talk like that... there could be non-Christians reading this blog every now and then. they might think i'm calling them insane or something. lol. i don't think non-Christians even KNOW half the time that they ARE saying no to God. i didn't know it when i was a non-Christian. strange as that sounds now. i remember when i was a young teenager i even felt a strange closeness to God, i felt like He was taking care of me and such. but i didn't go to church and wasn't a "CHRISTIAN" or anything. so people can be really confused about God, and end up just floating around in a new age kind of way.
segue. i've watched the movie 'the freshman' twice today. with matthew brodrick and ... you know... the godfather guy... what's his name? and he's like all likeable and stuff in the movie, even tho he's a mob boss, coz it's a comedy... movies are so manipulative lol. marlon brando! that's his name. stella!!

Posted by bonehaven at 12:45 AM - [Link]

hope i didn't scare ya with all my black clothing. i suppose i still LOOK like a non-Christian, and what with karaoke bars i'm still acting like it a tad too. but i'm NOT. i love God, and my life isn't all empty and lost like it was before. i'm a little bored, thus the karaoke bars, but that's about it. was just talking about it in chat last night. God said i give you life and i give you death, choose life... and before you are a Christian you are choosing death and everything sucks and you don't know why and you are trying to get a laugh from sit coms and feel good from oprah, but it doesn't work. i remember one Christmas making my husband buy me a big shiney new tv and a cable package lol with movies you know? i was totally addicted to feel good movies. before God that's all i had for meaning. i'm not sure that i KNEW exactly how empty my life was before God. it's not the kind of thing one likes to admit to oneself. hindsight is 20/20, especially after God shows you how empty it all was. i mean it's all so obvious after you find out how full your life is WITH God. but can you imagine how ANGRY you would have gotten if a well-meaning Christian had come up to you as a pre-Christian and told you that your life was sad and empty? can you say 'defensive'? you would have so 'no i have my family and my friends and my job and...' i don't know... ART and MUSIC or something like that... you would have said 'my life is full.' i think that you go back and get those things after you find God and they enrich your life... but trying to make them fill you before God isn't going to work. i've heard people get defensive about it on a tv show where a guy was interviewing atheists. and i can just hear this one guy, saying that he resented Christians for the implication that he needed something else in his very full life. and he started talking about cooking, about food for heaven's sake. he was chopping up carrots and talking angrily about how great his life was. i didn't believe him.

Posted by bonehaven at 2:13 PM - [Link]

my hubby says i shouldn't unabashadely beg people to sign my guestbook. that people don't come to websites expecting to be put to work. :( gee whiz, didn't mean to make people feel guilty or anything; i thought i was being charming and cute. hehe. guess not. i'm eating those teeny little sugar donuts, now THEY are charming and cute. they even fell on the floor of the car and have been forgotten there for a week and have been rescued by my husband and put on my computer table as a nice surprise this morning. but i'm pretty sure they have a shelf life of about 72 years so they taste fine. and the coffee is good. all around life is good. that's because God is good. life BEFORE God wasn't good, i was a wee bit dark and depressed lol.. just a wee bit. i still dress in black tho, but that's only coz it makes laundry day easier. and it makes buying clothes that match easier. and i just feeeeel better in black clothes mostly. i feel too BRIGHT in colors, like i stand out too much... i feel more invisible in black, like i blend in with the crowd. now people say that dressing in black actually has the opposite effect, and doesn't make me blend at all. but it's all about how i feeeel lol in that one wants to dress for comfort. plus i spill food on myself when i eat alot, my husband gets alot of laughs out of it. he says it's funny, part of my charm. so it's not good that i dress in light colored clothing lol... i used to do a johnny cash immitation when i would spill something particularly nasty on myself 'and they wonder why i always dress in black'... he actually does a song like that... i remember that one line only lol i wonder why he dressed in black, probably something to do with mourning all the pain and death in the world. most of us don't make a political statement out of dressing in black johnny, we just dig it, and it's cheap chic. or expenisve chic, depending on the piece... there's a guy at karaoke that does acdc's 'back in black' bang on. sounds just like what's his name. no, not back in black... what's the song? for those about to rock, FIRE! weeee saaaaluuuute yooooou! hehe. very silly.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:12 PM - [Link]

Been working on the new guestbook design for a couple days, tried a couple things until i totally stumbled upon a template for a guestbook that i had in my favorites folder... it was an old guestbook that i had used on my site before i found that blue flash monster i had on here. now the old guestbook wasn't that attractive, but the template i found was nice, AND customizable, in that you could get at the html... so i added my own collage background and made the template see thru so that you could SEE said collage. changed some of the font colors, stuff like that... just generally played around with it until i liked it. this was after two days of trying to get a mailto form thingy to work and learning frames to have that sort of a guest book... what i was going to do with the guestbook entries was kind of a mystery, just manually enter them into my page i guess, total bummer... so that's why i went in search of a customizable guestbook... i think what i found was just great, don't you? now if only people would SIGN the darned thing... no surfers ever sign my guestbook, i have had some chat friends sign it so far. i wish people would sign it. i went to this guys site to steal a guestbook graphic, but he had changed his site, and he had just taken his guestbook out of there, coz nobody ever signed it i guess... i think that's so sad... i sign guestbooks to be nice to people, coz i think it's a nice thing to do, when i like someone's site or something, i will tell them so... sigh; maybe nobody likes my site; woe is me. giggle... anyway, check out the new guestbook, maybe sign it too :) no pressure lol

Posted by bonehaven at 5:27 PM - [Link]

i had a glorious day today. i went to the dentist, so i spent the day with Jesus. Jesus always comes forward for me on dentist days to take care of me. i just always feel closer to Him on days like today. like He is running with me, skipping, jumping, around we go fly, or however e.e. cummings writes. after the dentist i went to go pick up my sister in law for lunch, but it was too late in the day and i said 'we must go to my house so that my husband can have the truck'... so off we went to the superstore to buy something yummy for dinner that my husband can't eat, to eat with my sister in law and my brother and baby hannah both of who are coming over later. so this is what we end up making. we buy this huge bag of scallops and some classico alfredo sauce and fresh fettucine noodles... and my sister in law buys a bag of shrimp. so we threw the frozen sea food in my steamer and sorta forgot about it and guestimated when it was cooked. then we started 'cooking' which involved opening a couple jars and a package of noodles. they were cooked in no time and we added the seafood to the sauce and heated it up for a while and drained the noodles. i had made some tea biscuits the other day, so we had them with the meal. it was soooo good. if you are going to get alfredo sauce from a jar and you need some that isn't going to make you gag. i recommend classico, nothing fancy, no mushrooms, no 'three cheese' crap. just simple 'alfredo'... now this sauce is NOT to be compared to the heavenly alfredo sauce that my husband makes... this sauce is for people that can't cook and want some pasta and don't want to puke. we had a good dinner here, nothing to be ashamed of... the last time i tried to make fettucine alfredo with a bought sauce i hung my head in shame, it was putrid, vile, fetid... ok ok i'm exageratting a bit :) but it was bad, and tonight's dinner was pretty good. i don't know how good it would have been without the shrimp and scallops lol.
oh it was just an all around great day... got to spend it with my family, and aren't those days always good? but best of all, i got to spend it with Jesus....

Posted by bonehaven at 3:03 AM - [Link]

i wish that it took longer to work on my website... i have such a small site, there is nothing to do on it... i revamped the entire thing in such a short time. now i have nothing to do again. i get so restless. i was hoping my bro would come by for a visit today. we live so near each other but i just don't get to see them enough. got my baby niece that i miss when i don't see her for a while. they say that when their door knocks she goes 'auntie eyaine!'... so cute... pretty soon she will be two. i have a feeling i will always think of her as a baby tho. i have another niece who is like that, she's 25 with kids of her own and i still think of her as a baby.
there's a steven segal movie on in the background, it's very distracting. He's always crashing stuff around. for a good cause tho :)
i wonder what it's like to really live for God. to really lose your self interest. i mean how is that even possible? to lose survival instincts and fear of pain and such. What did Jesus say? that we are to lose our lives to gain them. How does one set out to lose their lives? just a teensy little death wish? lol what does it mean? i'm always misinterpreting the bible. i'm sure it doesn't mean a death wish. but i'm also sure i don't know what 'death to self' means. i wouldn't know how to go about it. i'm sure there are a lot of good Christian theories about how to die to self, but do they work in practice is a different matter. Just like all those people that are always telling me to volunteer in soup kitchens. what's with volunteering in soup kitchens? is that some magic Christian formulaic thing? does volunteering in soup kitchens help alot of people? how come i don't see more Christians doing it? i know that some do. i mean of course SOME do. what would we do without Christian outreach programs? but NEVER say you have any sort of problem to a Christian, coz they will tell you to volunteer in a soup kitchen. now, ME, i'm a sick person, and i STILL feel guilty when i have to tell them NO i'm NOT going to volunteer in a soup kitchen. they look at me like i'm a bad person. even tho they personally don't volunteer in soup kitchens. i went and gave testimony at one of those food outreach thingies one night. i didn't like it, there was some guy there that was whacky on the dope that tried to pick a fight with one of the little guys that was with us. and i DID go and hand out some bread. so the next time somebody tells me to go volunteer in a soup kitchen i'll say 'been there, done that, you?'...

Posted by bonehaven at 8:45 PM - [Link]

well, my site comes up on google if you type in 'bonehaven'... of course nobody will EVER type in bonehaven and as far as i know it doesn't come up if you type in anything else... i put in a bunch of keywords in my html. i don't know if that's how you are supposed to do it... i have seen people with key words right on their pages, i don't want to have to do that, clutter up my page with keywords... i don't know, maybe it DOES come up for other key words, just a zillion pages deep. the only reason i get people coming to my site at all is because of a link on a friend's page. i mean there is no other way for people to find it. NOW there are a couple search engines and directories that have me listed, but originally there was only that link... my counter doesn't go up very fast, that's for sure, but it does go up... many thanks to my good friend at silent messenger for linking to me. i don't know what i would do without her.

Posted by bonehaven at 4:46 PM - [Link]

well, now my website contains all my own artwork, well, you know what i mean, i didn't do the statue of Jesus and Mary but i did the fluffy pink wings behind the statue... and i did the collage behind it all, scanned it in and played with it in photoshop... the guy standing there with his arms out is my husband. the enter page that comes up at www.bonehaven.com i got at the vatican's site and added the clock and the writing and stuff... i might play with it a little more, it seems a little bare... and of course this blog site isn't my artwork, it's a blog skin... i'm all proud of my site now... i told my pastor about it, wonder ifin' he will come and check it out. hope so. i've been so busy with it.. i wonder if i'm whacky to put a picture of myself on the 'about me' page. i tried to sorta hide myself, shut my eyes, put hands over face, wore a hat, etc... i don't think you can really tell what i look like. dear stalker: i don't look that good in real life. don't we all pick rather flattering pictures to show? we can't help ourselves, it's a sickness... we know we don't even look like that, but we must propogate the lie lol... as i get older we have to take more and more pictures just to get ONE that looks half decent. hubby was getting all frustrated as we shot pics with the digicam. he's like 'i don't know what you are looking for here'... i didn't know what i was looking for either... i think i was looking for my lost youth.

Posted by bonehaven at 2:35 PM - [Link]

well, problem solved with my ftp... it WAS working after all, just couldn't TELL it was working coz there was no apparent change to my web page after i uploaded a change... man oh man, how embaraskin', they were trying to tell me it was working. well what happened was this: on my new fandangled site there is no menu bar, therefore there is no refresh button to hit when you are frustrated about something like this... it was my husband that came up with the brilliant idea that this was my problem, and if i could only refresh i would see my transfered files that really HAD transfered by ftp... so we went and found a hot key for 'refresh' (it's f5 by the way) and lo and behold it worked! there were all my changes! just like that! of course now i'm irked about the fact that people don't see my web page for what it is without hitting refresh... i mean heaven knows what people are looking at, what old versions... so if you see a 'home' button on the little screens with my testimonial in them, hit f5, coz it's not supposed to be there... so all the people at the help desk are probably going oh it's an ID ten tee situation (id10t) *chagrin* but i sure didn't like the way they handled me... i needed help and they just kept saying i didn't have a problem and left me to suffer, now what was i supposed to do with a web site that didn't work? i want to know if they would have given me my money back... i'm not THAT embarassed that i'm not still angry. i couldn't get ahold of them on the phone at all, i mean what are you supposed to do with that? i bought new shoes... that helped :)

Posted by bonehaven at 8:06 PM - [Link]

gggrrrrr!! arrrrgghhh!! splat!! pfftt! this is really driving me insane. my web space provider is not helping me at all, they keep telling me that i don't have a problem with my ftp. i keep telling them that i do have a problem. i mean what am i supposed to do? i can't upload files to my site? there are corrections that need to be made... i'm just getting more and more upset with them. i paid for a year in advance, so now what if i want to switch providers? will i lose that money? i'm worried. anyway, i don't have time to rant too much today coz i waited too late to write. i have an early appointment tomorrow too, so i really should be getting me beauty sleep.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:00 AM - [Link]

well, PHEW, i redid my entire webpage in one day lol... got a couple of bugs i'm trying to fix today, but my uploader isn't working. hope everyone likes the new format... i totally used someone else's artwork. i will have to change the background, make my own collage. it's easy enuff, will just have to get around to doing it, learning photoshop and doing it, just have to change the entrance picture and the background picture ifin' she gets mad... i think i will maybe make a real life collage and scan it in. got a nice flat bed scanner. man i was all excited about changing my web page and boom it's over in a day! suppose i could tweek with it a bit. got most of the bugs fixed ifin' i could upload... for instance, if you are reading this blog from the link on the page the screen came up all wonky and you would have had to move it to read it... i fixed that, but i can't get it uploaded. fun fun fun... searching out answers on the web as to why your code doesn't work. good thing there are kind experts out there with the answers i need, so far... anyway, back to the grind...

Posted by bonehaven at 2:40 PM - [Link]

i went to the dentist today, i was having a bad day to begin with, and i popped my 4 ativan for my dentist bad... not that those piddly little ativan could have touched my problem with dentists from a while back. Only God could, and He did. He took away the start raving terror that left me pacing my living room at the thought of impending dentist appointments. God has been so good to me. Today i was nervous and tormented and finally, right before i was to be called in i felt a calm come over me, and i went 'aaaah'... "Jesus showed up"... "just in time"
I love when He holds my hand in the dentist chair, i can tend to forget about Him when the neeeed is gone. i hate that, i sometimes wish He was visible so that i could always have him in my vision, but i'm sure God has His reasons for not doing that... ' Yo Jesus, So I guess 'alone time' is out of the question, for like forever, now huh? that's ok Jesus, Man, i love Ya... i gotta pee tho, is that ok? You're coming? sheesh, when You said closer than a brother You didn't lie. ok, turn around Man, aaww, come on, turn around! You're always watching over me? Man, hand me that fig leaf over there.

Posted by bonehaven at 6:44 PM - [Link]

today i had a craving to have a job. man oh man it's hard to not work. you gotta let it go man, once you realize that you are sick and freakin' years have gone by and you are still freakin' sick. but still, after all this time, it hit me today like a ton of bricks, i just wanted a job so badly i could taste it. i started plotting in my mind what sort of job a sick person might be able to do. i pictured the world's most understanding boss who would let me lie down and escape from most duties. i always had bad luck with jobs. there was always one person at said job who would hate me with a burning passion, enuff to make my life miserable and try to get me fired. why i would want to go back into that misery is beyond me. but to NOT work is so boring and tends to drive you insane. and i was so defined by my work and all, but i've gotten over that. work was fun tho. i had a great time as a computer programmer, could make a great saturday night of it. i used to spread out on the stage of one of the lecture theatres at college. me, many coding sheets, candied peanuts, many cigarettes, diet coke... that's all i need... those days are gone alas. the closest thing i've come is the marathon 3 weeks of work it took me to learn html and make this web page. and that's only coz the book was 2 feet thick. another foot and i would have thrown in the towel, it was a tad much. oops, past my bedtime, blinky noogums all

Posted by bonehaven at 1:00 AM - [Link]

spent the day watching movies today, watched how the grinch stole Christmas with jim carey. it made me sad that Christmas is over; i felt a real pang. the Christmas season comes and goes so fast i think. and i always want it to hurry up and get there, and then i'm sorry when it's done. and now i have a whole year to wait for the next Christmas, that makes me sad too. the grinch is a staple Christmas movie tho very secular, the grinch finds SOME SORT of meaning of Christmas tho it is a complete mystery to all of us what it is. i mean come on, we all know that the only meaning to Christmas is Jesus, but the grinch is not talking about Jesus. so 'secular' Christmases are kinda weird ifin' ya ask me, which you didn't. but this is my blog so i can say whatever i want :)
the next movie we watched was the shipping news, with kevin spacey. it was a well done movie, pretty cinematography, i had read the book and found that the over all tone was a tad depressing, but didn't find that about the movie. there was a beauty and hopefulness about the movie that wasn't there in the book, indeed there was the opposite in the book. kevin spacey was somebody you could root for, unlike the character in the book who inspired no passions one way or the other.
then we watched twister with helen hunt, which is a hollywood type action thriller where nobody gets hurt in that hollywood kind of way where in real life they would have been horribly mangled/dead a zillion times over. and all they do in the movie is quip one liners instead of getting dead.
saturdays are good for movies... i used to look forward to saturdays for movies, i haven't spent a saturday watching movies in quite some time. i have only watched Christian tv for about a year, but i'm relaxing a bit; as you can tell from the karaoke bars.
anyway, that was my day, i have nothing more to say

Posted by bonehaven at 12:19 AM - [Link]

a friend told me to ask God for peace around this karaoke/drinking issue. i did, and i feel better today. i also talked to my life long friend cindy and she said that this is no big deal and i don't have to feel like some big sinner falling into temptation and that if i'm bored i should go out and have a good time singing songs. she says that the Lord keeps her from drinking too much anyway, that after a couple of beer she stops; just doesn't want anymore. God did that for her right away when she first became a Christian, she went out to tie one on and found that she couldn't drink! God is very good to us isn't He? and she found that she could have just as good a time without booze anyway. she's a pretty energetic person. me, i'm nothing like her lol. i went out and did a small load of shopping and made a bit of breakfast for hubby and did a couple loads of dishes and man oh man i began to feel sorry for myself. and my husband can do stuff like that without even blinking. He's my food angel. that's what i call him. i think it would be glorious to have such a gift to offer in life as cooking. it's the gift that keeps on giving. and people have SUCH a need for your goodness! they have hunger and sickness if you weren't around to feed them. what appreciation we have for the cook! people that have the joy of cooking are a joy to have around. i love to watch my husband cook. me? i think it's painful to watch me cook because I'M in pain when i cook; my husband always wants to help me. he feels sorry for me. but my husband, aaah my husband, he makes everything beautiful. my mother sent me some diet books for Christmas, she doesn't know what she is asking me to give up when she asks me to give up my husband's beautiful food. dinner time is a boon, and after dinner we bask on the couch with happy tummies. even tho he was sick on new year's he made me some yummy fettucine alfredo with garlic butter shrimp, just coz he knew i loved it. i think he loves to give of himself that way. i would be so proud of myself if i had something so glorious to give that somebody could appreciate so much. i hope my husband is proud of himself. i hope his gift for cooking makes him all squinchy happy.

Posted by bonehaven at 2:45 PM - [Link]

i just got a card from my pastor, showing him and his wife and family all smiling and black and white, a tad late for the season but it's the thought that counts... i wonder what he would think of all my karaoke trials and my 'just one or two drinks, wouldn't hurt' stuff. i would be afraid to ask him. i was talking to a friend about it last night and she says that if i'm so bored and need something to do, like karaoke, that i should go, that God wants to go with me, that He likes music. and that as far as drinking goes that i'm wise enuff not to get drunk, etc. i don't know... reminds me of that saying 'idle hands are the devil's plaything'. i don't like that saying. well, i don't WANT to spend an inordinate amount of time at karaoke, it's just something to add to the repertoire of things to do. i feel bad about it tho... bars are dingy and dirty and booze is bad and depressing and poison. that song just popped into my head, by the tea party, 'temptation'. he complains about not being able to feel God in that song. secular song. people aren't nice about God in secular songs.
anyway, i just think that there would be alot more Christians if people didn't feel that they had to give up booze and cigarettes to call on Jesus. now i personally think that that's whacky. i don't think booze and ciggies have ANYTHING to do with God. i think God helps us later and does us the favor of helping us to quit if we want. but you know that there are zillions of people that stay away from God just coz they want to stay drinking and smoking and stuff. they are choosing hell and missing God just coz of a couple of bad habits, and all the churches that enforce this crazy martial law. Like i said, i was smoking when God saved me, and i drank, socially... and believe me, those two things never stopped God from saving me. and i think it's so crazy that it makes PEOPLE stop short of going to God.
am i going on excessively about all this? well it's what's on my mind.

Posted by bonehaven at 1:48 PM - [Link]

well we made it thru karaoke night without sustaining any damage. i drank pop all night as the designated driver. my hubby had a couple drinks. i only sang one song, as there was a four hour rotation, the place was jam packed. guess you're dreadfully curious to know which song i sang... well it was an obscure eighties tune called 'johnny are you queer?'... not exactly a Christian song that. hubby didn't sing at all, he has a cold, poor baby. we ran into a couple that we knew from the old days, as in pre-Christian days, from the old neighborhood we lived in. i always liked them, nice people. at one point in the evening the guy walks up to me and puts something in my hand, i look and it's a joint! now, i didn't smoke dope BEFORE i was a Christian, so i was totally grossed out by this 'gift' and went "EW!!" and nearly threw it in the air, but caught myself, not wanting to appear ungrateful. the guy didn't hear the 'EW' and he walked away and i went and flushed the vile thing down the toilet.
there was a guy at the bar with a turban around his head, some sort of muslim person i guess, and i thought, how odd. but i guess it's odd that a Christian is there too. i think there are people that get lost in a never never land between loving God and not loving a religious subculture. there are people like me who love God but don't love the quilting bees put on by the church, or whatever churches put on. they like to go out to karaoke bars and sing a couple of songs and have a couple of drinks every now and then. there used to be a cliche about catholic priests that drank, over in england i think lol...
sometimes i think that religious subculture does more harm than good... i mean LET people keep smoking cigarettes if they smoke cigarettes... LET them keep drinking if they drink... what's more important here? that they come to God is more important.
i remember going to this small group church when i first got saved. and man oh man, i smoked like a chimney. but God was busy talking to me and saving me (the stuff i wrote about in my web page) and He never ONCE mentioned the cigarettes lol, and i never thought about the cigarettes at the time. i was too busy falling in love with God. anyway, this woman at that church said something like "I simply don't understand how people can call themselves Christians and still smoke or drink"... and i nearly CHOKED... i mean WHAT in heavens name does smoking or drinking have to do with accepting Jesus Christ as your savior? Like maybe Jesus Christ ISN'T my savior if i smoke? that's ridiculous.
anyway, i already wrote this majorly long entry and then lost it, and i don't feel like rewriting it, so this will have to do.

Posted by bonehaven at 5:58 PM - [Link]