1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week? What are you talking about? I can't remember yesterday!
2. What one person touched your life this week? My son. It's a blessing to have him in my life. I cherish every day that I have with him.
3. How have you helped someone this week? Don't know that I have.
4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week? Laundry??? Hell, I don't know!
5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place? Try to keep my mouth shut??? These questions kinda suck this week. gigglebug 10:59 PM - [Link]
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Why does my 'puter always freeze when I want to blog??? gigglebug 1:05 AM - [Link]
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POO
[mood|eh...] [music|why bother]
Yay! It stopped raining.
I cut my hair the other day, just thought you should all know. (Yeah, like you care.)
My backyard is like a minefield of doggie-doo. Need to clean up the piles. Definitely not doing it until they dry. Have you ever tried cleaning up piles of rainsoaked puppy bombs? Neither have I, and I don't plan on trying anytime soon.
Time to find some quizzes:) gigglebug 12:45 AM - [Link]
1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be? Don't really know. I'll get back to ya on that one.
2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be? Definitely the Renaissance(sp?) era. Love the clothes. I'd wear them now if I didn't get funny looks.
3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be? Ireland. Green as far as you can see. When I think of Ireland I feel like I'm thinking of home. Know what I mean? And no, I've never been there.
4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be? Someone with alot of power like a (good) sorceress or something. I'd be able to do anything just by thinking about it.
5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be? My own. I've grown pretty used to it ;)
Well let's see. Alot has happened in the last week. Craig and I made up. He said he wouldn't tell me he wouldn't do it again, because we both know that he will. But since I printed out my last post and hung it on the fridge for him to see, he now understands how much he hurt me. He says he only called me a cow because he knew it would hurt me. Anyway...
Tyler had his EEG on tuesday. Turns out he was having seizures, so now he's on Depakene to control them. I'll be happy if this is as bad as they get. We also found out that we now have our MR waiver, so I had to go in and apply for Medicaid again. We should be able to get it now that they can't look at our income.
We bought a new TV on saturday. Got a flatscreen. Much better than the old one. Picture is clearer and we only need one remote instead of 3! I don't know how we survived with our old crappy TV for so long. Anyhoo.... on with life! gigglebug 2:27 PM - [Link]
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3.17.2003
Your name of Kendra gives you a strong sense of responsibility in business and material affairs, and the practicality and determination to make a success of anything you undertake. You are self-sufficient and capable, and have an interest in positions of leadership and responsibility. You are competent in directing the efforts of others, as you have good business judgment and the natural understanding of people. Very likely you have assumed much responsibility early in life and are often required to make major decisions. You appreciate settled, accumulative conditions, and a high standard of living. You have a strong, determined nature and tend to dominate others, and to interfere, at times, in your desire to be helpful. This name gives you many good characteristics, but it is too strong, creating a materialistic nature and bringing out a forceful, demanding quality. The heavy responsibility your name creates can result in a worrying, intense nature. It spoils the development and expression of your warmer, more feminine attributes. It causes tension and allied problems in the female organs.
I just want to curl up, fall asleep and never wake up...... gigglebug 11:25 PM - [Link]
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Belittled...
[mood|hurt beyond words] [music|none]
I'm a cow and I act like a child. That's what my husband said to me tonight. I feel as if my marriage has been a lie. I grew up with verbal abuse and I won't live with it when I have a choice. He knows this. He knows how it hurts me to be told I act like a child yet he does it anyway. I don't act like a child--I act like me. He knew this when he married me, so if he didn't like it then why did he marry me? I'm a cow. I know I have a weight problem, and some days I don't like myself because of it. At times it's a struggle just to get up and around in the morning because I hate the way I look. But that's no reason to call me a cow. After all is said and done, he'll say he won't do it again and he won't for a while. But somewhere not far down the road, he will. That's how it always happens. And when I tell him all this over again he'll say I never told him before. Sometimes I wonder if it all goes in one ear and out the other. It has to. I've told him things before, he says he won't forget, and he does. I guess I know now where I stand.
what does that mean? You have a healthy mix of internal drive and belief in external forces (fate, your friends, coworkers, luck). You know when something is your job, and if you want it to turn out good, you will work on it. You also know when something is beyond your control, and you're usually OK with that.
what does that mean? You are below average in sensation seeking. You may want to get out of the house more often or watch more gruesome television shows.
But I can't do that!!! I'd have to leave my computer! gigglebug 7:04 PM - [Link]
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The weather taunts me...
[mood|content] [music|I'm With You, Avril Lavigne]
Ahhh, it's nice outside. About 80 degrees. Love it. I just know that it's not going to last for long though. By the end of the week it's supposed to be back into the 40's. The weather is just teasing me. It knows I like it when it's warm. It likes to taunt me with a few nice days and then take it all away. Damn you weather! Why do you taunt me so? Anyway...
So we go in to have Tyler's EEG done tomorrow morning at 10. They want him to be tired so he'll sleep and get a better reading. Not gonna happen. Tyler gets up at 10 in the morning. He'll be wide awake. I'll be damned if they think they're gonna sedate him to get him to sleep. I won't let them do it. Not just because I don't want them shooting him up with drugs, the risks, yada yada yada, but because when kids with AS are sedated, seizures won't show up on an EEG. Yeah, that's why we're having an EEG done. To see if Tyler is having seizures. We think he might be. I've noticed that he'll squint his eyes for a few seconds several times throughout the day, and I want to be sure. Let's hope he's not.....
Back out to enjoy the day! gigglebug 4:20 PM - [Link]
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3.15.2003
Green: You are quiet and your spirit is balanced. You are peaceful and kind. Some people may call you wierd, but more people should probably be like you.
Where is you favorite place to think and why? Think? What's that? I don't have time to think. Okay, in all seriousness, I do my thinking in bed at night. And not always by choice. Alot of the time I just can't shut my brain down. I always end up falling asleep mid thought.
Where do you rest the best and why? Definitely NOT in the car while Craig is driving. My god he freaks me out with his driving. I have to stay awake just to keep him awake. I'd have to say that I can rest just about anywhere else if I'm tired enough. When I was little I could sleep anywhere and through anything. My ma has pictures of me sleeping in chairs with wooden arms. Ouch!
Where do you have your most meaningful conversation and why? Just about anywhere. Depends on the situation.
Where do you feel happiest and why? Home...I can let it all hang out.
Where do you most like to take those you care about most and why? Don't really have an answer for that one.
Where have you gone and always had a good time but just do not feel like going anymore? Des Moines to the malls.
Where have you gone once only but cannot wait to go back again? The arboretum. We went there on our honeymoon.
If all of you is not right there with you right now, where is the rest of you? (you mind, heart, spirit, right thumb etc.) Back home at the farm I grew up on. I loved being able to go out in the timber and lay down under a tree and not have to worry about anything.
[mood|okay, I guess] [music|cry me a river-justin timberlake *yuck*]
Congratulations, you're an ant. You work hard for the good of others, but are unable to make any of your own decisions. You follow trends and always do what others tell you to.
Okay, so this is partially right. I try to work hard for the good of others, but I do make my own decisions (sometimes...hey, I'm flexible!). I DEFINITELY DO NOT do what others tell me to do. That just pisses me off when people do. Why did I even bother posting this anyway?
1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not? Sometimes. It depends on who the person is and the mood I'm in.
2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? My brother's fiancee.
3. About how many telephones do you have at home. 1 cordless, 2 cellular.
4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened? YES! Damn telemarketers. I hang up on them.
5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not? Most of the time I'd rather talk on the phone because it's alot easier & most of the time quicker. Although there is one certain person I'd rather e-mail. gigglebug 1:24 AM - [Link]
I'm sooo happy! Tyler said his first word. Yeah, it may not be a big deal to some people, but for us it's a VERY big thing with Tyler having Angelman Syndrome. Children with this disorder have very small vocabularies if they even talk at all. Craig and I were in the bedroom earlier and I was laying on the bed with Tyler. I was teasing him with his pacifier and then out of total silence Tyler said Buh-ba (Bubba, our nickname for him). I know for sure it was a word and not just babbling, because it was like nothing he's ever babbled before and it was in a totally different tone. It was his actual voice! Just so strange to hear. Well, better go, got alot of people to email... gigglebug 12:35 AM - [Link]
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3.08.2003
Saturday-8: "The Best (Online) Things Are (Not) Free"
What free web-email service are you using right now? How reliable is it so far? And which one is better: Hotmail or Yahoo? I'm using Hotmail, Yahoo and Excite. I don't really have a preference.
What is the best instant messenger? And which one you like the least? Tell us why. I don't really IM. I have AIM, MSN and Yahoo all installed, but I haven't used them in over almost a year.
What blogging tool and journal hosting are you using? How good/bad are they? BlogStudio. They're not too bad despite the fact that they don't have comments on their free accounts. Currently negotiating with someone about hosting on their server so I can try out Movable Type.
Where do you host the pictures you use in your blog/diary? Can you recommend us one good and reliable free picture hosting service? Don't have pics in my blog. That's why I'm going to try out MT. Hope to have a photoblog sometime soon.
What is the latest free software you downloaded? CuteSite Builder- 30 day evaluation (running out tomorrow:(()
What is your most favorite free online e-cards site? What makes it your favorite? Used to be Blue Mountain, but I think they started making you pay for alot of stuff. Haven's sent an e-card in a long time.
What is your most favorite MP3 site? Don't have one.
What is your most favorite online game site? Probably Neopets. Haven't done that in a long time either.
If you had some extra money, would just still use the same free email, blog/diary hosting, image hosting you are using now? Why? Why not? Yes. I'm too cheap. There's alot of other things I need that are more important. I'd rather have something I can have in hand anyway. I hate it but I'm too materialistic.
1. What was the last song you heard? The Way You Love Me- Faith Hill
2. What were the last two movies you saw? The Fast and the Furious-DVD The Replacement Killers-DVD (Craig is standing behind me telling me to say it was some porno.)
3.What were the last three things you purchased? Dog shampoo, dog brush and cat food. (What? The beasts have to eat too!)
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Laundry, update my dolls site, get Bubba's hair cut and run to the store for...well, you don't need to know.
5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Craig, Bubba, my mom, (does the damn telemarketer that called and hung up on me as soon as I answered this morning count?) and my niece Sylvia. gigglebug 3:03 PM - [Link]
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3.04.2003
What the???
[mood|still ornery] [music|commercial]
You always hear of people having a cigarette after sex. Me, I let the dog out. (No, I wasn't having sex with the dog, you perverts.)
*Kendra has left the building* gigglebug 6:32 PM - [Link]
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Remembering.....
Jesse's Poem
He taught me how to laugh, He showed me how to smile. He wiped away my sorrow And made me look forward to tomorrow. His laughter made me forget my worries When it seemed like they would never leave, And at times he even brought to me, A feeling you wouldn't believe. Now he's gone, He can't come back. And the pain it hurts, Like a heart attack. I remember standing at his funeral, It seems like only yesterday. Some people laughed, Some people cried, And at times I wish it was me who died. Sometimes I see him in my dreams, And I ask him how he's been, Then I wake up and he's gone, Time and time again. There's now noone there to brighten my days So I sit in my room, In a dream-like haze. Oh, dear Jesse How I wish you were here, To end the falling Of these tears. -Kendra Howard
I went to school with Jesse in junior high. I didn't really know him as well as I would have liked to. We sat at the same lunch table the last trimester of ninth grade. I don't know, maybe it was two trimesters. It's been so long. I'm beginning to forget. Some people may say that I never knew Jesse long enough to feel about him the way I do. And it's true, I knew him about one short year, maybe a little longer, but noone can judge someone's friendship to another based on time. I do wish I could have known him longer. I don't know, now that I think about it maybe it's better that I didn't know him longer. It would've hurt more when he left.
I remember the day I heard about his passing. It was just after the 4th of July break and the class was standing outside waiting to go in. I was standing with my best friend at the time, and another classmate came up to us and said something like, "You hear about that kid that drowned over the weekend? It was Jesse." Even though his seat was empty the whole class period, I felt like he was just playing hookie and would be back the next day. I couldn't believe it. It really didn't hit me until after class when I got home. I came in the back door and told my mom, and I think the instant the words came out of my mouth it hit me. I would never see Jesse again. I ran down the hall and locked myself in the bathroom and cried harder than I had ever cried before. It's funny, even though it's been ten and a half years, I can still remember the way the sun shone down on the classmate who told us the news. I remember the smart ass comments the teacher made during class about how things happen to people who screw around, while subtlely referring to Jesse.
Sometimes I feel as though over the years since his death that I am starting to forget him and the friendship that we had. I wish I could see him now. I wish that I could see what it would have been like if he were still here. And I wish that I could tell him face to face, how much his friendship meant to me and how he much an impact he was in my life. Hindsight is 20/20...... gigglebug 3:49 AM - [Link]
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You, "???" Me, "Read on o' curious one..."
[mood|ornery] [music|why bother, it isn't on half the time anyway]
All my snot is frozen. Translation: It is colder than hell outside. I just took the dog out to do her business and wouldn't you know it she loves snow. This means anytime we go out she has to screw around before she goes. Oh well, I guess I don't mind. I'd rather have a dog who likes being outside than one who doesn't and is a bitch to even get near the door.
Damn my ass hurts. Guess that's a sign that I shouldn't spend all my waking hours at the computer. Aw hell, if I wasn't on the computer I'd just be sleeping. Who needs sleep anyway?
Off to surf some more..... gigglebug 2:54 AM - [Link]
When was the last time you bought something for someone else? What was it?
I bought a Hershey bar for Craig sometime last week. Hey, it counts.
When was the last time you complimented someone? What was their reaction?
I don't really compliment people that much. I wasn't brought up in a complimentary environment.
When was the last time you returned something to the store? What was it and why?
Don't know when, but I think I returned a denim jacket for another size.
When was the last time you had a bad dream? Describe it, if you can remember it.
Can't really answer that one, but I do keep having different dreams about the house I grew up in. My room is always haunted. I can only remember one time of it not happening.
When was the last time you took meds? Are you normally a "good" patient or do you go by your rules?
Does aspirin count? I never finish medicine.
When was the last time you were embarrased by something you did? What was it and what happened?
Don't remember. I don't get embarrased that easy. Always the one doing the embarrasing. :B
When was the last time you took the time to sincerely "thank" someone for being kind to you? Do you get "thank you's" in return?
Same answer as the compliment question.
When was the last time you lost or misplaced money? How much was it .. and did you find it?
I don't lose money. If anything, I find it. I just forget that I have any. (I write checks.)
NAME: Kendra
AGE: 25 (soon to be 26)
HOME: Iowa with my husband Craig and almost 2 year old son Tyler (Bubba)
LIKES:
The Crow
Practical Magic
Lilo & Stitch
The Matrix
Invader Zim
SPONGEBOB!!!
Crossing Jordan
Third Watch
CSI (not Miami)
Law & Order (all of 'em)
Avril Lavigne
Vanessa Carlton
The Cranberries
The Corrs
Incubus
Vin Diesel
Victor Webster
Keanu Reeves (sometimes)
Michael Vartan
dolling
PSP7
sleeping
tattoos
The Mists of Avalon
paganism
FF7
RPGs
DISLIKES:
Seinfeld
reality shows
sports (too much energy)
onions
housework
snow
getting up late
going to bed early
my 'puter freezing up
BAD HABITS:
staying up too late
sleeping in too late
procrastinating
lazy (i'll be the 1st to admit it)
gigglebug 10:59 PM - 
