Avoiding Eye Contact....Again

As ever, I started to write about one thing yesterday, and completely side-tracked my self onto something else. Still, it's a laff, eh? Anyway, there I was - back the gym. As I am a spectacle wearing person, (my current pair are exactly like the ones Michael Douglas wore in "Falling Down". The resemblance has been noted. In fact, when I do wear a short sleeve white shirt, I have been sorely tempted to go into MacDonalds a few minutes after 11am and try to order a breakfast - just to see their reactions.), there are only disadvantages in not wearing my specs when I'm working out. I'm only slightly short-sighted, but anybody over, say, 20 feet away, I would have to stare hard at to recognise.....disadvantage no.1:

The Squint - for personal safety - mine & theirs (!) - I simply try not to look at anybody whilst I'm in there, otherwise I'll end up looking like a stalkers face pressed up against the bathroom window as I squint a few times into the distance to see who is there. This will get me thumped.

Okay, nobody I know goes in there, thank God. At the moment, in these early days of getting fit, it's a pretty poor show I'm putting on. There's 'extreme oldies ' in there doing marathons whilst I can jog for a few......but then half to reduce it to a quick walk again. But now we come across disadvantage no.2:

The Middle Distance Stare - this is just something I have to adopt because I can't really focus on the MTV-playing monitor hanging from the ceiling, but I have to look somewhere.The weights machines are at the far end of the gym, and I'm always conscience of the fact that when a large busty girl is working out, or when some girl takes her top off whilst 'resting' inbetween bench presses etc - they'll see me looking straight ahead.....'towards them'. But I've got to look somewhere! This will get me thumped. (So far....so good!)

Of course, one of the things that I think we all are a bit conscience of whilst working out, is, where should you actually 'look' when you're in close quarters with lots of mixed sex sweaty bodies.(" Mixed Sex Sweaty Bodies " ? Sounds like a 70's porno movie title?). Anyway, so this brings up the third disadvantage, common to everyone I believe:

The Short Range Look - this can also be compounded if the gym, like mine, has machines in rows, but on steps going down to the main gym floor. Where do you look without being accused of being a pervy? You try to look at the machine controls, right? And you desperately try not to look at the tight lycra ass in front of you which is commiting a crime against man made material by punishing itself so much - cos then you start to laff and lose balance, catch your breath,......and the worst thing you can ever do whilst in the gym - smile to yourself - that's a definite one way ticket out the fire exit.

But if you think you can avoid some these embarassing situations by suddenly doing stretching exercises, coughing, and scratching your crotch - try doing that in a crowded elevator when you make eye contact with someone.

Got yourself into any "OMG! Eye Contact!" situations recently? Care to share the details here?: |

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