Your Blogging With Dr P... search result is below this annoucement.
In April 2008 Blogging With Dr P... moved to Blog Bypass.
If you're using the Blog Studio Search Facility to find a link to a previous blog, then I've been very generous, and NOT included an automatic re-direct which would take you there.
So, what this means is you have to use this link: Blog Bypass to find more Blogging With Dr P....
Thank you to Blog Studio for all the help over years! :)
(Feb 2010 Update): Haloscan is no more. Therefore the comments on this blog are no more. Sad, but true. I'm not paying $12 a year for the occasional comment with Echo. Apologies to all those who have commented. I have saved them and may well stick them somewhere else at some point.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
American Airlines
Want to know what it looks like inside an American Airlines plane at 39,000ft? Well, it looks a bit like this:
Yes, the little televison display in the back of the seat in front of you tells it all. At 39,000ft inside an American Airlines plane - that is what it looks like.
Honestly - I'll have better pics and thangs to talk about the Texas Thanksgiving a little later. Y'all come back real soon y'hear?! :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Monday, November 22, 2004
Texas Thanksgiving
Ye-Ha! Off to Texas tomorrow for a week for Thanksgiving. It's an American holiday - go search the www, you'll find out what it's all about.
Gotta have my right ear syringed this afternoon - that'll be nice. Not. Apparently there's a tonne of wax in there which is why I'm as deaf as a post at the moment. (My mind wanders slightly and I think: "What do you call a post that is deaf?"......anyway....). After flying to/from Paris last Thursday, (that's Paris,France, not Paris,Texas), I don't think my lughole could take an eight hour flight to Dallas.
As the more observant amongst you may have realised, I have started to strip down and redesign the layout of the blog. This'll give me something to do over Christmas when we are all snowed in again. Ha. D'you remember this from a couple of years ago? Imagine....it could be like that again this Christmas.
Anyway, that's me for now. Hope y'all have a good Thanksgiving, (in the USA), and just a reasonable, not too stressful week, for the rest of you elsewhere in the world.
Be good. See ya'll soon.
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Urinal Politics Revisited
So there I was in Heathrow & Gatwick Airports recently. And, yes, I had occasion to use the toilets. And every time I use public toilets, I am always reminded of the following piece I wrote back in September 2003...
There's one guy at one of the urinals when you walk in, so what do you do? It's been a great debate on my mind for many years now, and I feel it's about time I discussed it openly with y'all here. Why? Well, it occured again today. The exact same scenario which has happened many times over in so many lavatories, toilets, ("restrooms" - for my transatlantic buddies), across the world. I mean, this traumic event has been happening ever since I entered a toilet - and there was just one other bloke at one of the urinals. Bars, (God - so many bars!), hotels, restuarants, airports, railway stations, camp sites, motorway service stations - the list is almost endless - including famous landmarks like The Eiffel Tower, and Alcatraz. Yup - I've peed in them all!...along with some other guy.......not the same guy....obviously :). Okay - it's like this.....If you go into the toilet, (and remember this is something that only a guy will ever experience), and there is only one other guy in there at one of the urinals, do you:
A. Stand next to him at another urinal?
B. Go into one of the cubicles?
Now, this may not seem like some earth shattering debate of great importance, however there is an awful lot of psychology going on here. Because if you choose Option 'A', does he think:
1. You're gay?
2. Staring at his willy?
3. Waiting for him to say something?
Or, if you choose Option 'B', does he think:
1. You're gay?
2. Have a small willy?
3. Have an embarrassingly huge trouser snake?
So, if you're really concerned about what the other guy thinks about when you walk into the toilet when he's having a pee, remember there's a 33e thinks you're gay no matter what you decide! :)
At the time, that entry prompted these remarks. Such was the interest in this topic, that it spawned several spin-off debates: Share-A-Loo Story, followed by the ever popular Toilet Talk, The Last Flush?, and finally Splashback.
All I want to really say to ya'll coming up to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other joyous alcoholic occasions - remember if you are drinking - be careful "where you go" - and please remember the rules :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Yahoo Messenger 5.6v
You have to believe me now, I never even tried for this one:
Yahoo Messenger 5.6v
But there I am again. No.1 this time for Yahoo Messenger 5.6V. I mean, not even Yahoo itself was listed in the top five :). I really should turn this blog into some sort of commercial site - a guy could make some money out of this!
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Friday, November 19, 2004
Asian Porno No.1
Asian Porno No. 1 - yup, that's me - in Yahoo:
Asian Porno No.1 in Yahoo
Following on from the other's days exciting installment of More Asian Porno, I found myself addicted and intrigued as to whether or not I'd make it to the top for Asian Porno, and I'm proud to say (?) - I HAVE :)
Unfortunately, Google just sank me like a battleship before my very eyes, and kicked me from 36th to 62nd before my very eyes as I refreshed the page. Maybe they think I'm spamming the my weblog too much with the mention of Asian Porno - can't imagine where they'd get that idea from - can you? (Asian Porno):)
However, Megaspider gets me on the FRONT PAGE!:
And it's nice to see some of the smaller search engines still keeping the side up, as it were. Here is my number 14 ranking at Lycos:
Still, one has to be proud - yes, I think PROUD is the right word for getting the Number 1 slot (!) for Asian Porno in Yahoo. So, here it is again:
Asian Porno No.1 in Yahoo
Never let it be said that I can't be at the top of an internet search engine. If you ever know anyone who doesn't understand Search Engine Optimisation and how to use keywords in strategic places to achieve high rankings - send them here. They can try to follow my example, but they'll have to choose a different subject - Asian Porno has been done :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
French Dog Shit
It has to be some kind of French joke for the English when they say that it's ".....lucky to step in dog shit with your left foot...." in France. Far from being lucky - it's fucking unavoidable in some places in Paris! France is a mystery wrapped in an enigma......smeared with a covering of poodle ca-ca. I know. I go there often enough.
So, yesterday I was waiting outside the Head Office of PC City, France for my taxi to take me to the airport. In that part of Paris there are sidewalks, (that's pavements to my English readers.....and PAVEMENTS WITHOUT DOG SHIT to my French readers!), with little verges on them. No, not small vicar's assistants (!), my areas that would normally have grass on them - if it wasn't for the fact that the whole neighbourhood owns dogs, and allows them to shit all over these verges. A sign would have been nice. Something like: "Attention! Regardez Le Merde DE Chien!". But non.
Eventually the taxi arrived - and in I jumped. A lovely Mercedes, as quite a lot of the taxis are. Well, it was a lovely Mercedes until I smelt that sickly dog shit smell that only occurs when you get into a confined space. Blargh! Using my fluent French.....ahem....I said to the driver - "Pull over here mate - I've got some Lucky French Dog Shit on my left foot". Oh how we both laughed. Not. I got out of the taxi and returned as much of the shit to the verge as I could - using some beautiful shaped oak leaves from a nearby Paris tree as a rag. The taxi driver furously sprayed his car and got rid of some shit from the foot well where I was sitting.
Finally, we reached the airport where we parted company. The taxi went to get washed (!) - and I thought that I really ought to clean my shitty shoes before getting on the plane. Needless to say, the French, and their ability for taking a joke just a bit too far - has none of those useful coconut matting doormats at the airport to wipe your shoes on - because they know where you've been!
After many minutes in the cubicle of a French lavvy scrubbing away I jumped on the plane with refreshed shoes
Lucky? I don't think so!
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
More Asian Porno!
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking.....ahem.....but Mr Chris Wright commented here that I had, in fact reached the dizzy heights of 23 in Google - a jump of 4 places from the previous day. Thanks Chris. TW has also helped in the Asian Porno ratings war with her comment here. Long live Asian Porno that's what I say....lol.
And just to keep you up-to-date with the current status of other porno related searches, I am, in fact at No.39 for "Porno" in Yahoo:
It's nice to be wanted isn't it? But I would ask those of you in future who do arrive here looking for Asian Porno to drop me a line in the comments box below and let me know just what exactly you are doing looking for Asian Porn? ;)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
No Branston Pickle for Christmas?!
Read this, and it will explain the Great Christmas Shocker facing the British public. How bad has the situation got? People are selling jars of Branston Pickle on e-bay! Yes, there's a real crisis going on.
BRANSTON PICKLE
After goint to Tesco's last night, and then Sainsbury's and finding out that both supermarkets were sold out (!), it was time to take drastic action! So, I sweated and cursed all day wondering what to do! (Okay, it wasn't really that drastic, but what's a guy to do, right?)
When I got home, Sue came up with a great idea - why didn't I phone the British Emporium store in Fort Worth - where we are going next week for Thanksgiving? So I did. And bless her - totally oblivious to the major food shortage of Branston Pickle going on back in the home country, I reserved three jars, and told her that I'd pick them up next Wednesday. She said she had loads! Maybe I'll take a spare suitcase......
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Asian Porno 2
Remember this from the other day when I was talking about how someone searched to my site using the words Asian Porno, and I had to search through 27 pages of the search engine before I gave up and couldn't find the link to me?
Well, let this be a lesson to all those who doubt the power of Search Engine Optimisation, (SEO), and the correct usage of keyword search terms on your own website. Because, yet again, (and this was probably a test by someone this time I think - or am I being paranoid?), but someone found me again whilst searching for Asian Porno again! But this time I have the evidence......
Look at that. No.7 in Yahoo for Asian Porno. And I reckon with this little mention and back-link to my own original article - who knows - I might even make it to No.1 Asian Porno!
Oh joy - I must read the disappointed guestbook when that happens! :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Monday, November 15, 2004
Machu Picchu 2001
I got an email from Kamran. Kamran reads my weblog weekly. But what else do we have in common? Well.......we were both present at this little drunken party to begin with...
Lordy there were lots of blurred faces there that night! Some so close I couldn't get there picture right. Admittedly, I was exceedingly drunk on out-of-date Peruvian beer at the time - so I probably couldn't work the camera either....
A couple of people didn't quite know what to do when the camera flashed...
- and others were just too drunk to care!
Okay, just to put you all in the picture let me explain the badly taken, scanned, Paint Shop Pro rejuvenated piccies from 2001. What you are seeing is the result of being trapped halfway up the Andes Mountains in Peru, isolated from the outside world due to a Peruvian train strike which prevented us from getting a mountain train up the steep pass so that we could continue our journey. "Okay",I hear you ask, "If you were isolated - where di all the beer come from?" Well, that's a question I didn't ponder at the time, but a brief explanation is this - as soon as the local mountain villages heard that there was a group of stranded.......thirsty...British hikers stuck on one of their farms - they appeared from all over the place - with beer. It was like manna from Heaven, or in this case - beer.
What an unbelievable night we had. It was one of the best evenings I've ever had. Me and Hugo, (pictured above in the glasses, hat and yellow coat), even sang a duet: "I Can't Smile Without You" that famous Barry Manilow number. Ah yes. What a classic night.
We had opera - honestly, there was a girl there who was training to be an opera singer and she sang, I think "Summertime" - it was superb. And the chap above, one of the guides, sang this great sea-shanty. (The pics not too great as my camera batteries were running out at that point).
Yes, it's not the regular "Machu Picchu Hike-Away Peru Diary 2001" - but I'd thought I'd stick these pics up here for Kamran, Debbie, Del, Hugo and Gina - hopefully they'll get to see them as well. I will do a proper album/journal of this trip at some point as well.
I'd highly recommend the Inca Trail/Machu Picchu experience. If you're going to die, as John Peel did, better in Cusco, Peru than in Essex, England, right? ;)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Naked Britney Spears Pics!
- just testing the search engines ;)
So, up to anything exciting this weekend? Me? Well, as part of the huge, sprawling empire they call Dixons, we have a Returns Warehouse - this is where all the crap get sent back to from the stores, for suppliers/manufacturers to come and pick it back up. Naturally, as the largest electrical retailer in Europe, we have a responsibility to ensure that our stock files are correct in all locations.Hence, we have an audit in there starting Sunday and going on until Tuedsay. Oh joy. I've spent many happy hours over the last week or so refining procedures, having meetings, and refining procedures again. So my work is done :) I shall confidently sit back.....drink wine....eat grapes.....and "Let the games begin! ".
Wednesday should see me catching up on emails etc and also preparing for a meeting back in Paris, with me colleagues in PC City on Thursday. Unfortunately, that means I'm going to have be a very early riser on Thursday with a 6.20am flight from Heathrow Airport - which is west of London. I, of course, live the other side of London in Essex. But it will be a useful and constructive day - with croissants .
And with a leap an a bound into the following week - it'll be YE HA! - and off to Texas - Fort Worth, actually for Thanksgiving. That'll be lots of fun & photos :)
Incidentally, I did have someone search to my weblog with the term Asian Porno. So, I linked back to the search engine site and tried to find the reference to my page where I'd talked about Asian Porno. And did you know I went through 27 pages of Asian Porno search engine pages before I gave up....;)
Bring on the search engines :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Monday, November 08, 2004
Che's "Motorcycle Diaries"
I was telling my brother Joe that I have just started reading the Motorcycle Diaries of Che Guevara. It's all about his time riding around South America before he became a revolutionary.
Joe said "D'you think he became a REVOLUTIONARY after doing a ROUND TRIP on his bike?"
He's dead clever Joe is. He's a teacher y'know! :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Do Not Use The "Kudos" In My Presence
There are certain words and phrases which annoy me intensely. There is a dictionary defintion which says:
"Kudos is one of those words like congeries that look like plurals but are etymologically singular. Acknowledging the Greek history of the term requires Kudos is (not are) due her for her brilliant work on the score. But kudos has often been treated as a plural, especially in the popular press, as in She received many kudos for her work. This plural use has given rise to the singular form kudo."
Ultimately - I don't care how you use it, just don't use it near me thank you. Let's stick to good, plain, simple English, and everything will be copesetic :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Saturday, November 06, 2004
I Still Can't Believe My Luck!
Not wishing to miss out on the millions of dollars of Kruggerands, or something (?), that my good friend Trevor McCarthy of the Incredbily Bad English Society has pushed in my direction, I sent the following reply to the amazing lottery email I recived a few days ago...
Trevor,
Thank you for the form. I cannot beleive my luck. You've no idea how
much this lottery win will mean to me and my extended family.
I have a small problem. It will take me a few months to get the
arrangement fee - how much time have I got? I would like to be able
to have all this sorted out by Christmas, but it will take me at
least 8 weeks to get the funds together. I presume as long as the
lottery number is in my name, then the prise money is mine to claim
once I've sent the form back and sorted out the arrangement fee?
Or could you deduct the arrangement fee from the prize money - if I
was to send a legal document which authorised you to that - and then
we could save a great deal of time?
Yours thankfully..
Not surprisingly, Trev, and the money grabbing fraudsters of Joburg were only too willing to bend over backwards to accomodate me:
Dear Dr P ,
I am in reciept of your email, i have spoken to our director regarding
your request to Postpone your deadline and it has been granted.I will await your filled claims form which shall be placed in your claims file,transfer of winnings will only be effected after i recieve both requirement that is your claims form and the stipulated fee.i hope my efforts will be appreciated.i will await your response
Regards,
Trevor
Poor old Trev. I can't decide what to do now. Do I:
1. String him along for a bit - and then shop him to the South African Fraud Squad
2. Register his company address, email etc with EVERY filthy porno website I can find?
3. Do both 1. and 2. ?
4. Or what do you think?
I'm sure Trev will be pleased with whatever outcome :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Nine Years For Spam Email
Never mind worrying about the Copyright Police catching you downloading the latest Busted album, there's a brother and sister in the US have been convicted of sending hundreds of thousands of unsolicited e-mail messages to AOL subscribers, in the first criminal prosecution of internet spam distributors.
Jurors in Virginia, ( a couple of days ago), recommended that the man, Jeremy Jaynes, serve nine years in prison and that his sister, Jessica DeGroot, be fined $7,500.
They were convicted under a state law that bars the sending of bulk e-mails using fake addresses. They have been convicted of sending hundreds of thousands of unsolicited e-mail messages to AOL subscribers. They will be formally sentenced next year. A third defendant, Richard Rutkowski, was acquitted.
Jaynes has apparently been ripping people off for years, and has made an estimated fortune of around $24million! (His sister helped him process credit card payments).
But Jaynes' lawyer David Oblon called the nine-year recommended term "outrageous" and said his client believed he was innocent. He pointed out that all three of the accused lived in North Carolina and were unaware of the Virginia state law.
Yeah, right ;)
Now won't it be embarassing for his mother when the guy who sends around the penis extension email gets brought to court! :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
Friday, November 05, 2004
The Boys From The Belgian Border Are Back
And here they are, LIVE from PC City, Leers! :
Just as happy as they were back in February:
And as animated as they were back in Nov 03:
More from France later :)
[Link] - | Old Blog Search
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